jokes and funny stories.

[Meliva]

Heres another funny joke that I think should get some laughs.

A bartender is working the night shift and the place is completely empty, when all of a sudden all goes dark, a portal opens up and Death himself walks in. The bartender quickly begins to beg for his life when death shuts him up. Death says "listen, I'm just here for some drinks, had a stressful day and need to unwind." the barkeep calms down a bit and serves him and asks how could he be stressed. Death replies "you kiddin? Almost no one WANTS to die, so they all almost always pulls the same crap- they beg, scream, fight, run and make my life a living hell." so the barkeep and death talk a while, having a good time until death gets up to leave. As he leaves he says "I had fun,well ill see you again tomorrow night." the barkeep says "you coming back for more drinks?" to which death replies "yeah, sure lets go with that."

[Meliva]

Time to bring this thread back from the dead with a new joke-one I like quite a bit too.


2 Nobleman are in the imperial court standing before their peers. The first, Sir Lionheart says to the other Sir Chickenlegs "You sir are a cowardly, dishonest traitor and I challenge you to a duel." Sir Chickenlegs looks at him, and just shakes his head and says"nope." To which Lionheart says "what do you mean nope, have you no honor!" to which chickenlegs replies " of course not, like you said I'm a cowardly, dishonest,adulterous traitor." to which Lionheart says" I never said you were an adulterer" to which Chickenlegs says "Oh I guess your wife hasn't told you yet."

[Dejanira]

I never said you were an adulterer" to which Chickenlegs says "Oh I guess your wife hasn't told you yet."

Lol Good one. Witty reply.

A bartender is working the night shift and the place is completely empty, when all of a sudden all goes dark, a portal opens up and Death himself walks in.

That one reminded me this old Monty Python extract from The Meaning of Life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UBQFXQUqxE
but I forgot to post it

[sXs]

Dejanira..... did you ask Stan if you could post that? After all he has proclaimed himself..... not you, as the one that will decide what is allowed in forums.

[Stan Rogers]

Dejanira..... did you ask Stan if you could post that? After all he has proclaimed himself..... not you, as the one that will decide what is allowed in forums.

I think you have me confused with Deznutz. He is the forum troll and self appointed moderator

[sXs]

Dejanira..... did you ask Stan if you could post that? After all he has proclaimed himself..... not you, as the one that will decide what is allowed in forums.

I think you have me confused with Deznutz. He is the forum troll and self appointed moderator

"We will be waging war on those who continue to commit harmful actions and create demeaning posts ultimately found harmful for the games future. How are we to know what is harmful unless we ask your permission.

Where do we ask permission? How does that work, you get together in guild chat....

"Feniks asked if he could do this...... should we allow it or should we take him outr and force him to quit for it?"

[Stan Rogers]

Where do we ask permission? How does that work, you get together in guild chat....

"Feniks asked if he could do this...... should we allow it or should we take him outr and force him to quit for it?"

No, just check with your moral compass. If you look and find it missing, go ahead and seek help elsewhere. You will find most of the player base have one that they consult on a regular basis.
I'd like to share a story that pretty much fits my attitude.
Some mistake my replies as arrogance and demeaning. It really represents my attitude towards certain issues.

A senior citizen was applying for part time employment to fill in his idle hours. He was seated with the personal officer during his interview and the interviewer said to him

" What do YOU feel is your weakest trait if you were to become an employee ?"
The man replied :" Well, I tend to be honest and speak exactly what I think "
Interviewer: " I do not see that as being a bad trait to have"
Man: "I don't really give a shite what you think"

Me, I've been practicing shouting "GET OFF MY LAWN"

[sXs]

Where do we ask permission? How does that work, you get together in guild chat....

"Feniks asked if he could do this...... should we allow it or should we take him outr and force him to quit for it?"

No, just check with your moral compass. If you look and find it missing, go ahead and seek help elsewhere. You will find most of the player base have one that they consult on a regular basis.
I'd like to share a story that pretty much fits my attitude.
Some mistake my replies as arrogance and demeaning. It really represents my attitude towards certain issues.

A senior citizen was applying for part time employment to fill in his idle hours. He was seated with the personal officer during his interview and the interviewer said to him

" What do YOU feel is your weakest trait if you were to become an employee ?"
The man replied :" Well, I tend to be honest and speak exactly what I think "
Interviewer: " I do not see that as being a bad trait to have"
Man: "I don't really give a shite what you think"

Me, I've been practicing shouting "GET OFF MY LAWN"

The moral compass. You better check yours. Remeber when Vane declared war on all of Avonmora becasue of certain attacks 6-8 months ago? Who was behind those attacks? You know..... admit it. Who was behind the attacks 3-4 months ago. You know.... admit it.

And now you are claiming to be the moral comass of Avonmora when you don't even have the "moral compass" to stand up, be a man and admit your own actions?

Your hypocrisy is what i find completely offensive here. And that fact that Vane and PK have teamed up with you in this Venture?

Completely offensive.

But I guess everything has always run through Stan. Respect sir, you have proven to be the ultimate puppeteer.

[Dmanwuzhere]

[Stan Rogers]

GET OFF MY LAWN